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You cut me open and i keep bleeding love3/14/2024 It all collapsed in oh about February, I remember the first time that made everything change. Was it ever really real? Or was i being played at from the beginning. I think back on the lovely times we had before all the crap began. And everytime i swore up and down it was the last. There was something about him that made it impossible to say no. I was under the influence, but really after a year of this nonsense a simple goodbye was too much to ask? My fault surely, for catering to his every whim even if I was indisposed the next day. What stings is the utter lack of caring displayed on my last night. I will never understand why 2 months later, i am called out. Peoples actions are never really explainable are they. The journal is more a comfort than anything, i don't believe anyone actually reads let alone cares what anyone writes in here. Which of course causes the tears to well up, the appetite to go away and a terrible disposition to settle in. There are good days and bad days, well usually nights are worse, but lately the boredom of the days keeps me thinking.
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